dreaming.

i once said i hated to have nice dreams.
but it's not the dream i hate. it's the waking up.
it feels like i can almost touch him, he's just right there on the edge of my subconscient.
but i can't. and i close my eyes again and wish to keep dreaming, but i'm wide awake
and awake i know it's just a dream. i'm not ever going to touch him, or be talking to him like that.
but it just feels so real.

i.. really need a hug.
human contact. a man's arms around my waist and a man's chest to hide my head in.
but a new man. really, a new man.